My entire life, I've walked to the beat of my own drum. I've never been a member of the 'in crowd'. I've always sought solace in quiet spaces, most often by myself. Some of my most fondest memories are of sitting by myself in the basement, doing a jigsaw puzzle, and watching Catch-22 for the umpteenth million time. That's not to say I didn't have friends. I was fortunate to know many wonderful people, some of whom I still hold dear to my heart and who I hope may read this someday. But I was never your 'typical' kid. At my mom's dinner parties, I would more often be found sitting in the living room with the grownups, not playing with their children outside. Now I've gone and made myself sound like a hermit child who rarely saw the light of day. Not true! I played for long hours outside with Maggie...our golden retriever. I had long conversations with Kiska...my Siberian husky. I have never thought of myself as an overly social being. I didn't define my happiness based upon the number of people I could call friends or who I hung out with. I was equally happy at sitting at home on a Friday night as hanging out with my best friend. So this whole social media thing is somewhat of a mystery to me. Why do people want to be connected to anyone and everyone? Why do they post pictures of meals? Why do they insist upon airing everything for anyone to see? After a while I decided I'd give it a whirl. First it was MySpace. It quickly became apparent that it was not for me. Then I changed to Facebook. For nearly 16 years, I posted pictures, spread my political views, liked, commented, friended and unfriended. And it just isn't fulfilling my needs anymore. So why do I continue to waste valueless time? (that one's for you, Dad) The fact is I find myself angry with people who I thought would 'like' something I posted when they seem to ignore it. I actually counted how many people wished me 'happy birthday' and became sad that so few took the time to post on my wall. I find myself arguing about someone's post in my mind and wishing there was a dislike button time and time again. Some days the number of depressing stories are just too overwhelming. It just isn't fun anymore. So why am I subjecting myself to it? Why get angry over Facebook's endless intrusions? Hey, it is their site. If they want to monitor my 'private' messages to sell me something, go ahead. Guess what my last half dozen messages were about. They were all about how I'm leaving Facebook. There. Sell me something now!
The next question is why start this blog? Isn't this similar to posting endless pictures of meals? Won't I be angry with the comments I get, or don't get! Well, I've always excelled at internal conversations. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a lot to say for a self-proclaimed introvert. And I hope that friends and family can come here and read what I'm thinking about, see pictures of my dogs, and maybe even comment on what I've said. But most importantly, I hope this will be a more positive outlet for me. I may write about sad stories I hear about, but it will be a method of release that I don't feel I get on Facebook. I can get on my soapbox and spout political views til my fingertips are bloody and I won't care if anyone reads it. I just need to speak my mind and not worry about who I piss off or whether anyone is reading it. I'm doing this for my enjoyment. If you like what I write, great! If you don't, cool! Either way, I hope I keep on writing.
